Learning to Trust Yourself

Tell me, do you trust yourself?

I’ve been doing a whole lot of soul searching these days. It all started with choosing a word for the year. I took a leap of faith and committed to trying something new, and it paid off, big.

I absolutely love learning, but little did I know that I’d become my own subject matter. I’ve been learning so much about myself over the last few years, and it’s truly helped me become a better human.

In 2017, my word was trust. Looking back I realize I was more open to receiving signs and information from God and others than I had thought. I carried a notebook in my purse and every time I read a quote or heard a message that spoke to me, I jotted it down. I’d reflect on what I wrote often and even shared some of what I discovered with friends and family.

One day, I took time to examine the word trust and came up with this acronym. If you’re in a place where you have the desire to begin trusting yourself, or trust yourself a little more, take my virtual hand and dive in.

Ready? Here we go!

Thank

One of my favorite quotes from Zig Ziglar is,

“Your attitude often determines your altitude.”

When you look at things with an attitude of gratitude, you’ll find you have a more positive perspective. You’re able to find the good in the bad. And because of this attitude of gratitude you have the capacity to soar beyond your wildest dreams.

Be thankful every morning when you wake up, write down what you’re grateful for, and share with others how you’ve been blessed.

It seems like we’ve been conditioned to respond with phrases like, “I’m okay,” or We’ve just been busy,” or “eh I’m good,” every time people ask us how we’re doing. I challenge you to change your answer when you’re asked this question. Pause, take a moment to think, and I bet you can come up with a better answer. One that’s honest and perhaps inspiring.

I used to feel like I had to hide all the good that was going on in my life, especially if I knew that a friends or family member was going through a tough time. I learned that yes, you should be sensitive to other’s feelings, but you should never be ashamed of your blessings. In fact, you should celebrate them.

The more you we share what we’re thankful for, the more space you create for other things to be thankful for. Make sense?

For me, I like to take time to thank 1) God, 2) myself and 3) others. In this order.

Thank God. I thank God every morning for giving me life and allowing me to live another day. I thank him for the things I often take for granted, do my devotion and meditate on his word.

Thank Me. It seemed odd at first, but I learned to thank myself. It’s still a challenge to remember to do, but when I do, I thank my body for the energy I have to keep up with my family. I thank myself for being brave to stay home, home school my kids and run my own business. I thank myself for being me, and pump myself with positive affirmations.

Thank Others. Finally, when I can thank God for the blessings he’s placed in my life and take a moment to acknowledge myself, I am truly able to thank others for the gifts they bring to this world.

I can thank my husband for working hard, for calling me out on my own inconsistencies, my kids for teaching me lessons multiple times a day and testing my character.  And my friends, my colleagues, strangers, everyone, no matter what the circumstance.

The “T” in TRUST is for Thank!

Reveal

I’ve heard the term limiting beliefs before, but never really understood what it mean or even paid attention to it until last year.

Reveal your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are things we believe are true, but really aren’t. They’re things we tell ourselves out of fear, or because of what we know from what others tell us.

The beauty is that we have the ability to change the way we think. Many of our limiting beliefs came from childhood or experiences we like to shut out of our conscious mind, but somehow surface when we’re faced with certain situations.

According to Changing Minds,

“Limiting beliefs are those which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit. And in doing so we impoverish our lives.

We may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions and so on. Limiting beliefs are often about our selves and our self-identity. The beliefs may also be about other people and the world in general.

In any case, they sadly limit us.”

These phrases usually start with, “I can’t” or “I’m not,” or “I don’t.” Sound familiar? We all have them.

The important thing is that we recognize what our limiting beliefs are and we change our thinking. You can do this through affirmations, trying new things or facing your fears head on.

Once you identify your fears and limiting beliefs, you might see your dreams become closer and more reachable.

Reveal your dreams. Reveal your dreams and believe they will come true. Start taking action, and you’ll find that it’s a lot easier to get to where you want to be when you’ve removed the barriers and the lies you’ve been telling yourself all these years.

As you can imagine, this doesn’t all happen over night. It takes time, patience and progress. Give yourself some grace and be sure to reflect on the process, reflect of your past, but always, always move forward and engage in the present moment.

The “R” in TRUST is for REVEAL.

Unlearn

Now that you’ve revealed some of your limiting beliefs are and you’ve been able to reflect on where they may have come from it’s time to unlearn the bad habits you’ve been practicing.

Make a conscious effort to make small changes in your life. It’s never to late to have a fresh start. The moment we stop trying, is the moment we’ve given up. Don’t give up!

Believe in your dreams, and believe in you. Make them happen. Manifest the crap out of them. Give your mindset a makeover. Repeat positive affirmations, read good books and most importantly surround yourself with positive people.

The “U” in TRUST is for UNLEARN.

Self Care

This is a big one, and I know it’s hard for moms to do since we are nurturing by nature. But, it has to be done. I used to feel guilty for just the thought of wanting to take a break from my family. Not anymore. I learned to give myself some grace and fill my cup first!

It’s just like when you’re instructed to place your own oxygen mask on first before trying to save anyone on a falling plane. We can’t take care of our tribe, until we take care of ourselves. It’s as simple as that, but we make it so complex.

Start small. The key here is to start small. I used to dream of hot stone massages, manicures, pedicures and enjoying a delicious meal at a 5-star hotel all by myself. Let’s be real, I still do. LOL! But, when I these things aren’t within reach, like every regular day, I embrace what I have at my disposal.

Do what you can. I’m not saying you should settle, but I’m saying keep it real. While you’re waiting for your next massage, be intentional every freakin’ day about doing one, or two, small things just for you! Wake up early and have a cup of coffee in the dark, or take a moment to pause and just breath. Take a 10 minute walk or read a good book for without any interruptions. Put Pilates or Yoga or Hip Hop Aerobics on your calendar and make it happen! Tell the husby ahead of time so he knows not to mess with that day.

Make the time. The point here is that you make time to do the things you love, even if it’s just a few minutes everyday. You deserve it. You are important. Remember, the more you take care of you, the better you, you become…for everyone!

The “S” in TRUST is for SELF CARE.

Take Hold

Now that you’ve been giving thanks, revealing your dreams and limiting beliefs, unlearning those bad habits and taking care of yourself, the final step is to take hold of your life. Hold on and enjoy the ride! Be open and accepting of the changes that will happen in your life.

Receive all the good that will be coming your way. I can’t promise things will be perfect, but you’ll be better prepared to face the challenges that will come your way. Learn to welcome them with your new attitude of gratitude and instead of feeling overwhelmed, know that they’ll be an opportunity for you to grow.

When your dreams start to become a reality, be thankful and be willing to share your experiences with the world so others may be blessed and inspired. It all comes full circle.

The second “T” in TRUST is for TAKE HOLD.

T.R.U.S.T. in yourself = Thank + Reveal + Unlearn + Self Care + Take Hold!

I break these ideas down a little deeper during an interview with my dear friend Louise Edu, on her Facebook live show, MightyTV in case you’d rather watch or listen.

Tell me, what steps do you take to trust yourself? What areas have you mastered and where can you use some accountability? Leave a comment below and share this with someone you care about.

One last thing. I created a worksheet for you to help guide you through this process. Sign up for our mailing list and I’ll send it to you for free 😉

Sending out mad love to my home girl and main photographer, Crystal Carr of Crystella Photography for capturing these beautiful photos of yours truly.