The other night while I was falling asleep and trying to put Pinky to sleep, she patted me on the chest and said, “best friend Mommy, best friend!” It was 1am, we were watching Monsters Inc. (not something we practice, but we’ve all been sick) and I was half asleep…but when she said those words I nearly jumped for joy. I woke up, kissed her, hugged her, squeezed her really, and told her how much I love her. She’s been getting a lot of that from me because lately she has just been full of surprises.
I know we are to first be mothers to our children and I suppose there is a fine line between being friends with them and being the parent…but for now, I’m taking all I can…friend, mommy, best friend…because I know as she gets older, one day she might not want me to be either.
Not to rain on my parade, but here is what I read in an article titled, “Can a Mother be her Daughter’sBest Friend.”
“…the mother/daughter relationship has unique characteristics that distinguish it from a best friendship. These characteristics include a mother’s role as primary emotional caretaker, a lack of reciprocity, and a hierarchy of responsibility. This hierarchy, combined with unconditional love, precludes mothers and daughters from being best friends.
Because the essential ingredient for friendship is equality and there is always an imbalance when one person in the twosome is the parent of the other, mothers and daughters naturally can’t be best friends.”
What do you think? Can parents be friends with their children?
Awww this post gave me the chills!
I have been thinking about this a lot lately too. There is a fine line. Yet, I want my daughters to come to me with any issues they have and know that I will listen to them. They may not like what I have to say or ask them to do, but I think friends should be able to be honest with each other and respect each other’s feelings. This is what I hope to instill in my daughters, and that we are friends and we can keep it “real.”
I agree. I want Pinky and any future children for that matter, to come to me with anything. I’d be happy and secure know that they can tell me even their darkest secrets…I think as moms we’ll also have to be prepared for whatever they tell us. Even though we might be upset or dissappointed we have to hear them out. I also want them to tell me all the good things so we can reward them, let them know we appreciate them and ofcourse celebrate them! Thanks for the comment! Lots to think about, good thing we have some time 😉